Facts Of Life

Travel is very educational. I can now say "Kaopectate" in seven different languages.

I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.

Home is where you can say anything you like, 'cause nobody listens to you anyway.

I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here.

Sign In Pet Store: "Buy one dog, regular price, get one flea..."

I don't have a big ego. I'm way too cool for that.

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the 'terminal'?

Regular naps prevent old age.....especially if you take them while driving.

When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half.

If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN.

I have learned there is little difference in husbands, so you might as well keep the first one.